*True story: When I was 4 or 5, I prayed – on my knees- to be made into a mermaid. Each morning when I woke up and discovered that I still had LEGS, my faith in a higher power dwindled. Eventually, I gave up, marking my first of many existential crises. I may have begun to question supposedly “omnipotent” forces, but I have never given up my belief in mermaids. They are real. I can prove it.**
**nope. But during Speech and Debate camp when I was in high school, I wrote an extemporaneous speech about the huge variety of mermaid
myths accounts across cultures and time periods… it was awesome.